Thursday, August 12, 2010

This is the job of a parent

We are spending this week with a family that recently adopted a wheelchair bound child. Great kid, great attitude, great family. The reason for my post is the way the Mom handles well intentioned people.

For example, I found myself wanting to help this kid at every turn. You know, wheel him around, lift him, get him water, whatever. His Mom was constantly reprimanding me (and others) to let him do it himself.

Finally, I gave her this exasperated look. Whereupon she oulled me aside and gave me 'the talk'.

"Listen, I know you mean well. But someday I won't be here to fend for him. My most important job is to prepare him for that day. That means teaching him how to do things for himself and then giving him the room to do it for himself so he can gain confidence and become a problem solver. I know it is hard to watch. I am always catching myself about to jump up and help him. But, trust me on this, every time you do something for him that he can do himself or should be able to do himself, then you are destroying his future. And I know you would not want to be complicit in destroying his future."

Wow. That is one smart parent. When you look at the thousands of spoiled brats walking around today, don't you wish they had a mother like this mother?

7 comments:

Christine said...

Indeed. She sounds like a fabulous mother. (although I do understand how one might be wanting to help him out and be a good friend and such....)

Christine

Shannon- said...

my hero.

牧宇 said...

成功多屬於那些很快做出決定,卻又不輕易變更的人。而失敗也經常屬於那些很難做出決定,卻又經常變更的人.................................................... ............

Shrijnana said...

I know that parent, I can hear her saying it. She's my parenting hero, too.

俊王王王王霖王王 said...

很以有啟發性的故事阿~感謝大大分享^^..................................................................

The Coopers said...

She sure is! That beautiful little boy had a wonderful adventure full of firsts with your family. Thanks to you he took his first solo kayak ride, rode on the huge raft you purchased with him in mind and vacationed with his family for a week in your lake house. We surely know it takes a village, and you my friend, are a member of his village. How about you commenting on this fabulous Mom while you and your family are equally as fabulous!

Erin Starks-Teeter said...

That parent is a rare sage. I only hope I can be so wise when I have kids.