BUMmer

OK, Colleen did not find this to be amusing, but I ran to my office, shut the door, and was rolling on the floor laughing.

Apparently, Marin and Emmy had located one of my old digital cameras (that I thought I had lost), slapped a couple of batteries in it, and were experimenting.

The kids were so proud of their work they handed the camera to Colleen to take a look. Next I hear Colleen in this really serious tone asking the kids when did this happen, how did this happen, where was Mama and Daddy when this happened, etc. Then I hear Marin and Emmy giggling and wondering why Colleen is not as pleased as they are. So now I am obligated, you know, as a father and husband, to go downstairs and investigate.

I see Colleen browsing through the viewer and looking at a series of Ethiopian moons. Apparently, Emmy would bend over to moon Marin while Marin took the photos, then they exchanged positions, and Emmy took the moon photos of Marin. We're talking about a dozen of just butt shots - and nothing else.

Emmy: That one's my bottom, mama.
Marin: That bottom is mine, mama
Emmy: I took that one, mama
Marin: No, that one's mine. My bottom is bigger and browner. (well, at least she is very comfortable in her own skin!)
Emmy: This one is mine.

The cutest part was Marin and Emmy were so proud of themselves. They had figured out how to use the camera with no adult help and then they took lots of pictures of each other. Naturally, after seeing Colleen get upset, they each were eager to give the other credit for the pose idea. I had the hardest time not bursting out laughing and pretending to be mad. I had to excuse myself.

Election Day

Our kids have been so into elections this year. Their grandfather is heavily involved in town and state politics, and a lot of people stop by his house for discussion and advice during the day and evening, and Marin and Emmy are often present to observe this. Additionally, the kids can read now, so they see all the names and referendum questions on road signs and they pepper us with questions about it.

So fast forward to this morning. I had the TV on at breakfast (something I NEVER do) in order to see the election results. The kids asked why the TV is on and I explained everybody voted yesterday and today we learn what the new rules will be.

Emmy starts in with
- What about Tracy, did she win?
- What about Noel, did he win?
- What about the farm? Will the people buy the farm? (referendum on a land conservation trust)
- Can two mommies get married now? (the gay marriage referendum)

And on and on and on. The kids have a remarkable memory, especially for names.

As I was about to lose my patience with the unending questions (while trying to pay attention to the TV so I would have the information to actually answer the questions), it occurred to me that here are two kids who will be voting here in less than 15 years, who may never have had an opportunity to vote if they had stayed in their rural village. In fact, they may not have even known the concept of voting, the democratic process, and one person/one vote equality.

What makes her tick??

This AM we had one of those dramafests that mothers and their daughters seem to get drawn into. The climax came when Colleen was buckling Marins' seatbelt. Somehow Colleen's thumb became entangled in the belt. At that instant, Marin decided to become resistant and tugged powerfully on the belt, spraining Colleen's thumb. Colleen, naturally, screamed out in pain. The interesting part is what happened next.

Colleen abruptly returned to the house to get an ice pack and an ace bandage. I put Marin in teh car and drove her to school. Marin was overcome with panic.

First, Marin thought she had killed Colleen. She made me promise her that Colleen was not going to die and asked me over and over "How do you know, Daddy?" "How do you know?"

Once, I got her off that, Marin continued her panic session expressing fear that Colleen would not want to be her Mother anymore. Again "How do you know, Daddy?" "How do you know?" The poor kid was like nearly suicidal until I finally dialed Colleen up on the cell, explained the situation, and Colleen got Marin calmed down.

Some thoughts....................

1. Even after three years in America, Marin's first reaction to even the most routine illness and injury is that the person is going to die. It's just unbelievable to think about how many people she saw die in her young life in Ethiopia. And its' equally unbelievable to think about how totally preventable those deaths were if the country had any kind of living standards.

2. Even after three years in our care, Marin fears abandonment. This really caught me by surprise. We have been totally diligent about hugging the girls every day, several times, telling them we love them forever and we will always take care of them. Never once using corporal punishment. And when we have ourselves convinced that the kids are totally secure with our love and commitment, something like this happens to make us realize they still live in fear of our abandoning them. Bummer.

When does the hungry train stop??

Yesterday we were driving in the car and we saw a homeless person standing with a "hungry" sign at a busy intersection. Marin saw him and asked about it. So I gave a rambling explanation of what a homeless person is and why some people are hungry even in America.

Marin: But where is his guitar?

Me: What?

Marin: I know hungry people, too. But they play songs on their guitar and have a box to put the money in.

Me: Where did you see this?

Marin: At the Sea Dogs game ( local baseball team to which Marins day care went last summer)

Me: Tell me more about this.

Marin: Remember you gave me five dollars in case I needed to buy a snack at the Sea Dogs game.

Me: Yes.

Marin: Well I bought something to eat, but it cost only two dollars. So I had three dollars left, and I gave it to the hungry man who was playing his guitar.

Me: Why did you do that?

Marin: Daddy, listen, I know what it feels like to be hungry. It hurts and hurts and hurts in my belly. So I felt sorry for the man with the guitar and I wanted him to buy a sandwich.

The Story

There's been a lot of traffic in the Eth adoption chat rooms about 'the story'. That is, what were older children told by their own families as the explanation for why they were getting into a van with a stranger to go someplace? Many were told they were going away to school and some were told they were going to visit a distant relative.

This is a great question, and one I wish we had asked when we were in Eth. It is a great question because it helps you to understand your childs' behavior. For example, if the child freaks out whenever you try to leave him or her at school, and you know that school was the story the Ethiopian family used to get the child into the van, at least you understand there is a rational reason to freak out from the childs' perspective. Without knowing the story, you would probably misdiagnose the situation.

So last night I asked Marin if she remembered what she was told when she got into the van with Solomon (I happen to remember her driver's name).

Marin said "They told me we were driving to the next village to get water."

Me: Really? Did you believe that?

Marin: Yes.

Me: Why?

Marin: Because that was one of my jobs to get water for some of the Mamas in the village so they would give me and Emmy food. I was happy we were driving because all the other times I had to walk. Then after we were in the van a long long time I knew they tricked me so me and Emmy started crying.

Unkissable

Emmy is such a teaser. Whenever I try to kiss her, she runs away. If I catch her, she wipes her face where I kissed her and says "Off. Off. Off. Off."

This morning I went to her room to wake her up. She was quietly snoring away. So peaceful. She was adorable. I slowly bent over and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. She smiled, pulled her blanket up over her face, wiped her forehead, and slowly said "Off. Off." and started giggling to herself under the blankets.

Channeling

Marin is getting very philosophical lately. Always asking about death and heaven and God. Is this normal for a seven year old? This morning at breakfast.....................

Marin: Daddy, tell me all the things you think about God.

Me: Why?

Marin: Because I really want to meet her. (her?? where is that coming from!?)

Me: Why?

Marin: I want to ask her why I was born in Africa and why did she let my Africa Mommy and Daddy die and why do I live with you now and how did you know about me to want to be my Daddy.

Me: Is there anything else you want to ask her?

Marin: I want to know how far I am from heaven.

OK, anyone out there want to take a shot at these questions?


Fast forward, I have dropped Marin off at school and driving to work, radio blasting. And this song on the radio is playing............

Tell me all your thoughts on God
Cause I really want to meet her
And ask her why we're who we are
Tell me all your thoughts on God
Cause I'm on my way to see her
To ask her am I very far. Am I very far now?

Holy crap. Once it clicked with me what these lyrcis were saying, I almost drove off the road. What are the chances that this is a coincidence? What does this message mean? How spooky. Even tonight it gives me goosebumps thinking about this.